I don’t know if many of you have spotted that my challenge to myself this year isn’t competition related, instead I set myself up to at least start to beat my agoraphobia and finally last week I have started to do something about it instead of just thinking about doing something about it. I’ve also decided to share my journey on here, recent events have shown that mental health problems really shouldn’t be hidden away, help is out there if you need it, even if it’s just reading how others cope and learning to cope yourself. The main thing I’m learning on my journey back to living again is that life is worth living, yes, horrible things can and do happen but to let them rule the rest of my life would be giving in and letting those who hurt me win. They’re out of my life now, I’m not going to let them rule it still, I AM going to get better, have a fantastic life and enjoy every moment of it 😀
So, to start, here’s a very brief history: for the last 5/6 years the only time I have left the house has been with Dave, he makes me feel safe and secure and I know I can trust him. If anyone is wondering why this might be a problem, before I met Dave, I was in a string of bad relationships, the last one nearly killing me on a couple of occasions but now I’m free of all that and Dave has given me time and helped me to heal and now he’s helping and encouraging me into living again, showing me how life should be and it is pretty wonderful!
Anyway, last week I had a problem, I needed to make an appointment to have my Nexplanon implant changed but I wasn’t sure where to go for it over here. I struggle with making telephone calls as I have to plan in advance what to say and I couldn’t figure out the right string of words to ask if I telephoned my new GP which was making me feel very frustrated. It eventually boiled over and without thinking I put my shoes on, grabbed my coat and walked down there. It was only once I was half way there (it’s about 800m away) when I realised what I was doing, I felt so surprised but really happy that finally I believed myself that it would be OK to go out and it was.
I got to the doctors, spoke to the receptionist, made and appointment and have been back twice more since then, all on my own (OK, Dave gave me a lift half way for one appointment as we have a busy road between us and them and it was rush hour!lol) and I know I will be fine to go back again when I need to. I guess the next thing to work on now is going out on my own for pleasure not just because I need to be somewhere or do something. I know it will come in time, I’ll convince myself that it’s OK and that I can do it and I will 😀
I’ve also finally started back on my weight loss mission too, I’m not doing any fancy diet, just eating healthily (mostly) and keeping the calories under 1600/1700 each day with doing some exercise. I finally found something I really enjoy doing and it’s the most simple of exercises but it really gets a sweat going. I use a step and just go up and down on it while I watch something on TV or a movie. It’s amazing how much time goes past without you noticing if you distract yourself and keep exercising, hopefully I’ll keep going this time and this time next year, I’ll be on the way to being half the woman I am today 😀
Many years ago (well before I left school so over 25 years now) my Brother and I purchased our Mother a pair of these slippers. She loved them so much that they were never off of her feet, it was really nice to have given a gift that someone loved so much and I keep trying to do the same in each gift I give now. The problem came a year or so later, there were holes in the soles, the fur was all matted and ragged but she still wore them (have you ever had a pair of slippers like that? I know I have now so I understand her) but they were truly awful and so I’m sad to say my brother and I cut them up to make sure she could not wear them any more. We tried to find her a new pair but even then it was impossible and since I’ve started using eBay I’ve kept an eye out each Birthday and Christmas in the hope of finding another pair.
Thanks so much to 20orchid11 on there, I have finally managed it (I’ve linked to her profile there as she has some lovely other things for sale, just go have a peek when you have time) and she has been fantastic with chatting to me about them and sending them on to me. It’s really great timing for me too as this year my Mother will be 65 so this is going to be part of her birthday gifts, I just wish I could be there with her to see her face when she opens these and remembers the pair she used to have 😀
I won this lovely set from Phone Free Friday on Twitter 🙂
Those of you that know me know I’m not one of those people who are attached to my phone, most of the time friends have to check with me if it’s charged before they call or text me I’m that bad!lol But there are a lot of you who are very attached to your phone so this charity day might be a struggle for you but, I bet if you tried you could do it and enjoy it too! The details are all on the Phone free Friday website here so please pop over and have a look and if you can, please donate to this very worthwhile cause while you’re there 😀